We can only hope that someone out there feels the same way we do and we can only pray that one day we meet that person.

I'm not sure if anyone still looks at LJ, I know I really don't;; this is the first time I've been on it in maybe a year but I just wanted to end my journal on a happy note.

I'm doing well and I've moved on.. from everything. It's time to start new and forget my regrets, if not only to make new ones and I hope everyone here does the same.

Much love.

First of all, I've kind of abandoned Lj. Mostly because the activity is light and half of my friends just have Twitter updates that frequently fill up my friends page to where I have to go looking for "actual" journals. Also, not much has been going on except for y'know, life.

I've been working at the Luxor now for about 7 months, I'm out of probation and am at 100% pay so I have a very nice bank account about every 2 weeks. I'm thinking about moving out on my own, I can definitely afford it and I know a couple of people that want to move out with steady income. I'm loving my co-workers now that I can actually be myself around them, they all kind of adopted a "parental" role around me so it's a little bit like my second family. Sandra, she's my favorite, is teaching me Spanish each day so I can talk to the maids a little bit more. Almir is our gay veteran, he's been working at the Luxor since it opened and always makes me smile. April is my teamwork buddy, technically we're both Shaylon's (my boss) assistants. His right and left hand. She can be a little.. crazy but I love her non-the-less. There are about 14  of us but instead of introducing all of them I just wanted to introduce the one's I'm currently working with on this 9am-5pm shift, which.. is also designed for only me and April. Funny enough, the 2 steady extras are put forth with the most important tasks.

But it just so happens I'm never on my laptop anymore so I hardly get time to update. Work is great still, their laying a lot of work down and more responsibilities but nothing I can't handle really. I work 3:30am right now, not the best of shifts but definitely feels like you've still got a lot of day ahead of you.

Friday we'll be going to go see the new Disney movie and hopefully all plans will go well. Lonnie is out on her own now and I'm not sure if I'm allowed to say who's she's dating or not.. but he was nicknamed Pedro along with Jacob as Napoleon Dynamite freshman year by Mr. Conser. /hint

I've spammed it everywhere but I do have my car. Dealerships are a pain and I would recommend never going to one unless you need to. In the end I get to pick between my Santa Fe and the one I have now (blue Hyundai Accent). Either way I drive away with something that I actually like. I don't want to have to go back for a while so might as well not give myself any reason to right?

Christmas is coming up and I'm a little less excited than usual since no one else around here is looking forward to it. Saddening since it's my favorite time of the year and no one seems to want to do it this year anymore.

Other news: Insurance and 100% pay just kicked in today on the 9th. So hello 15.71/hr and health/dental insurance! It's good to have you. I also have a gamertag for xbox360 now since it was free for a month: Reign Rampart if any of you feel like playing some time. I got Jourdan hooked to Left4Dead and she's constantly playing it now, which is good since it gives us something to play together while she's in Georgia.

I believe that's it for now though. I'd still love to hear if anyone got any word of that new years thing with Scott, let me know.

Something tragic happened yesterday and those who do not have DeviantArt accounts wouldn't know about it so I'll be posting it here to avoid future mishaps, comments, etc.
>>>http://heilos.deviantart.com/journal/28209241/

It's hard to believe that death can touch any one of us.. even if this incident isn't related first hand to the group but more or less first hand to someone that is. Some of us are hoping to visit Jourdan so if anyone would like to join in just let us know.

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To live in the hearts we leave behind is not to die.
-Thomas Campbell

So Rachel and I went to a few places this weekend (my weekend started Thursday). First Rachel and I went to Bravo! to get my hair done, again. Since the last time I went my hair faded out within about a week. I had her make sure she used permanent this time and I got my layers cut a little bit shorter and it looks really pretty. I'd post pictures but I'm a little lazy right now. 

Then today we went to go see the Bodies and Titanic expedition at the Luxor, since I got them for free and discounted. Bodies was incredible I guess you could say, especially if you were into medical and physical things like that. It did have some interesting exhibits like your brain after a stroke or your lungs/liver's state after smoking. Then after that we went to go see Titanic and that was awesome. Saw a lot of the items and parts of the ship that were really dug up from the ship. For some of them you could definitely tell, they even had a side of the ship taken and displayed there. We got to go through the corridors (if you've seen the movie imagine the corridors Rose was running in to find an imprisoned Jack) and we even went onto something that looked like the side-deck. They had a real iceberg there too, we got to touch it. Rachel and I got necklaces afterward that actually contained some of the coal from the ship inside of it, mine shaped like a heart and her's like an anchor. I also took a picture on the big grand staircase and will post those eventually. :D

Right now we're setting up for halloween and I got Coco a small bunny costume (seeing her run in it is so cute) and myself a matching bunny costume (minus the pink). 

I've been waiting for a chance to let you in ~ 

So first paycheck, well actually second but the first was only for 2 days, should be coming in tomorrow night. I'm a little excited. It's a step closer to a car and a nudge toward braces. I can't wait till they're fixed and it's even more a possibility now that I'm gonna be the one paying for them, I can trust myself when I say I'll get them sometime this winter. Just waiting for probation to be over and insurance to kick in. :3  ~ 

I started watching Avatar: The Last Airbender again. Why? Because it's a freakin' awesome show that's why. <33

every action in this world will bear a consequence.

So I'm doing well at work and am having little troubles at home and elsewhere. My head is foggy, heart's beating, and mental stability: slightly above average. Becoming more and more aware of the mundane schedule set out in front of me for what could be years and I'm not exactly excited for it, but I guess that's life right? 

I continue to question what I really want to do, where I want to be, and like always, I come up empty. A couple of the things I tried to hold on to just floated away and my ties to them cut. Like helium balloons that accidentally slip through your hands except it's not entirely unintentional; snip, snip, snip. That's life too though, right? 

After high school I didn't know what to expect, I had no idea the direction in which I was going or even if I wanted to be headed in that direction. I just wanted to go, to start walking down a road, any road. Now it kinda feels like I'm lost, but what else should I expect walking down a road I don't even know the name of?

I think when I get a chance to next, I'm gonna go travel. I'll visit you guys in Boston, Utah, Pennsylvania, Georgia, wherever the hell Taz is at the time and figure everything out. After all, I've only got about 80 years left? 

It hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time...I want whats yours and I want whats mine.. I want you, but I'm not giving in this too.